Yann Vernier’s Blog

Damn, I let myself fall into one of these nasty loops

Life Empowerment Coach & Mentor Sue Crutcher talked

about in her recent post.

But I’m back on track now (I think).

It all started when I got some not-so-good news from my

parents a week ago or so. Then, I let everything I was

working on slip.

However, the situation forced me to consider scenarios

I knew I’d have to think about someday… but had so far

chosen to ignore.

Isn't it amazing how inclined we are to delude ourselves?

This reminded me of the importance of what Hill referred

to as Accurate Thinking.

And of Ringer’s Theory of Reality:

“Reality is neither the way you wish things to be nor the way

they appear to be, but the way they actually are. Either you

acknowledge reality and use it to your benefit, or it will

automatically work against you.”

We know this is true… Yet we so often “forget” to apply it in

our life.

In fact, indirectly pointing people to acknowledge Reality

seems to be what I spend most of my time doing.

But what about you?

What reality are you choosing to ignore right now?

Food for thought...?

All the best,

Yann
Yann Vernier, Personal Coach UK

Lots to do today. And not enough time to come up with a well

thought out post.

Just one question that keeps coming up as I'm going through several

answers, proposals, explanations, etc… I've been chasing for days.

(It’s as though everybody woke up on the same day.)

Why do people insist on making simple things complicated? Why?

To justify their position. Because they’re so used to look at things from

a single perspective, they can’t see any alternatives. To give themselves

the illusion they’re productive…

I could come up with a looooong list of reasons. But I have to go back to

finding useful words in pages of fluff.

Have a great day,

Yann

Yann Vernier – Personal Coach

 
 
 
"OH MY GAWD!" I scream as I enter my office.

"What's wrong?" shouts my assistant from the adjoining room in a
panicky voice.

"Look outside!"

"Oooooh..."

"What's going on?" asks another person, running into the office.

"Look!" I reply, pointing at the window.

"She's gonna get arrested!"

"What is she doing?"

"There's a naked woman outside my window!"

"People are crazy in this country..."

The woman turns around.

"Oooooh..."

"That's just weird."

"Yeah, that's stupid."

"Well, she did attract our attention!"

"Not just ours! Look at all these men walking past... and then turning
around..." we laugh.

We see all sorts of people walking about in central London. Some rather
unusual, colorful, "in-your-face" outfits, accessories, and haicuts.

Nobody pays much attention.

But this was definitely an unusual sight.

It was interesting to watch the reactions of various passers-by. Most women
were not impressed. A couple of women wanted their picture taken with the
naked woman though.

A few men pretended not to notice her. But most men thought it was
funny, of course.

I had a lot of work to do so I stopped looking. (Okay, okay, I occasionally
turned around to check she was still there.)

What was the naked woman doing?

Handing out promotional leaflets.

What business for?

No idea. (No, we're not in the red-light district.)

In fact, she did attract a lot of attention. But very few people bothered
taking a flyer.

Remember those stupid ads?

                                                       SEX!

Now that I have your attention, let me tell you about XYZ Services Inc. Yada
yada yada...
Yada yada yada....

None of the "yada yada yada" actually tying in with the attention-grabbing "headline".

It's easy to get attention. It's easy to give people a story to tell. But with this sort
of gimmicks... The story may be very different from the message the "smart"
promoter is hoping to spread.

One of my colleagues hopes she'll be back on Monday though... So we can find
out a little more...;-)

All the best,

Yann
Yann Vernier - Personal Coach

P.S.: Oh! Nearly forgot.

Did I promise a picture?

Here she is:

NW

Great coveralls, aren't they?

P.P.S.: Back to more serious topics tomorrow. Well, maybe...

You may have heard the rumor that there was a naked lady outside my
window yesterday...  And that I was going to post about it... Including
a picture...

Well, let me confess it... It's true. But more on that in a moment.

I've just finished my round of comments. And I've litterally run out of time.

I'm off to an all-day corporate team-bonding "event". Could be fun. Could
be boring.

Either way, I'm sure I'll learn a lot about human nature - just watching.

I'll let you know.

Oh! My train is leaving shortly.

Gotta go.

You'll have to wait a bit longer for the naked lady. (Sorry Scott)

All the best,

Yann
Yann Vernier - Personal Coach

You've probably heard this or some similar advice before...

To be truly happy, just be yourself.

Well, it's easier said than done!

Most people don't realize, or don't like to admit, that they're influenced by
a group in which they want to fit. By someone they want to be like.

They want to be themselves, yet they want to be like someone else. Celebrities,
mentors, family members, fictional heroes, ... you name it.

As soon as you accept this group or person exists, and identify what it is that
you want to emulate and why, you're on the path to greater feelings of fulfillment.

Here are the 3 steps I like to go through. It can take 10 minutes. It can take
10 hours. The exact questions vary depending on the conversation, but here is
the essence:
1 - Who would you like to be like?
2 - What specifically would you like to emulate?
3 - Why are these things important to you? (one by one)

And then the hard-core question, the fourth step (okay I lied there are 4 steps!):
If you could have these things and be true to yourself, how would you do it?

Once we've got some answers to these, both of us have achieved much greater
clarity about the direction we should take.

And smart people like readers of this blog can probably use this as a guideline
for self-questioning. For you... it'll be 10 minutes :-)

All the best

Yann
Yann Vernier - Personal Coach

Following on from my previous post on how to deal with feeling confused or

overwhelmed, here’s a spin-off on one of my favorite coaching questions that

you might find useful.

As usual, this is something I would normally use during a live interaction, so

I’d be interested to know if it works for you in a “self-talk” situation.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, simply do this.

Stop.

Take a deep breath.

Ask yourself the simple question below and answer the first thought that comes

to mind– out loud or in writing (not just in your head):

If I were at my best... what one thing would I do right now?

You’ll find that you have the answer.

Don’t shake your head.

You will know the answer.

And it will pop in your mind straight away. Most probably followed by a lot of

‘yeah but’s. Reasons to justify the fact you’re not doing that very thing.

And that’s okay. What matters is that you verbalize the answer. And doing it out

loud or in writing somehow “tricks” you into some level of commitment to yourself.

Often, you’ll actually think of a sequence of activities… And voila, you’ll know what

to do with yourself.

The next step of course is to start doing it!

Chances are you’re not feeling overwhelmed right now since you’re busy reading

this post. But remember the question for the next time you’re feeling stuck (write

it on a sticky note and leave it wherever this usually happens to you).

And be sure to let me know if that works for you.

Yann

Yann Vernier – Personal Coach

I'm stuck for inspiration today and waaaaaaay too busy in the office to use the

"clear my throat" trick that copywriting wunderkind Sheridan Randolph would

probably advise me to try.

Well, the busy-ness part is my fault... I shouldn't have let my assistant take

a vacation :-)

So here's the trick I personally use when I feel a little overwhelmed or

demotivated like today.

It’s a simple quote I like to ponder for a few seconds.

"You never will be the person you can be  if pressure, tension and discipline are

  taken out of your life."
- James G. Bilkey (He was a South African activist but it’s the quote I’m interested in)

I printed it over 2 years ago and it's been on my desk since.

Reading it instantly reminds my emotional brain to reframe the difficulties

I encounter into necessary steps to make me a better, stronger person.

Keyword: reframe.

Somehow this works for me.

How about you? Do you have any “tricks” to deal with those days when nothing

seems to fall into place?

Yann
Yann Vernier - Personal Coach

PS: If you need another boost of self-confidence, check out business insurance

expert Sonya Lenzo's post of the day.

Sunday June 8, 2008   6:45am

Wow! Unbelievable!

In England, a sunny weekend day is like gold dust.

“Cloud mostly to the south of London clearing this morning.

All areas then having a dry day with a good deal of sunshine.

26 °C…” says the weather man’s forecast.

So I'm following Romance Coach April Braswell’s advice and

going outdoors to do meet new people.

I’m off to the seaside early to beat the crowds who will

undoubtedly pack the trains to the coast. I’d rather meet the

locals.

Since I've not been very good at taking time to relax this year,

and since it was also raining in Paris last weekend, I'm turning the

morning into a mini-vacation.

No cell phone. No laptop.

Just a pad and pen, some water, my camera, and some sunscreen!

Back to more productive activities later tonight.

Have a great Sunday!

Yann

Yann Vernier – Personal Life Coach

PS: I hope the weather man is right! :-)

   I often deal with people who feel rather overwhelmed and confused, and like

to talk to get a bit of clarity in their life. Often they feel people around them

don't recognize them and that what's happening to them "is not fair".

In such situations, I normally insist on talking about their sleeping and eating

habits. This usually gets negative reception. From complete bemusement to

extreme anger. They don't understand why I want to talk about these "mundane"

topics.

"What has that got to do with it?" is the reply I most frequently get. Or something

very vague to change the subject like "Oh, I'm pretty healthy".

So I was pleased to read that researchers from Cambridge University (UK) and

UCLA have now clearly identified the connection between levels of serotonin

and emotional behavior.

Serotonin is a key chemical messenger (neurotransmitter) made in the body

from foods such as chocolate, and found in mushrooms, nuts and most fruits

and vegetables.

The results "suggest that serotonin plays a critical role in regulating emotion

during social decision-making".

In a nutshell, when you're hungry your serotonin levels are lower than when

you eat properly. And this has a direct impact on how well you keep your

emotional responses to "unfairness" in check.

Now you have an excuse to get that piece of chocolate!

All the best,

Reported in Science Express June 5, 2008 "Serotonin Modulates Behavioral Reactions to Unfairness", and in The Financial Times (UK edition) June 6, 2008.

If you're on Dave Lakhani's list, you'll already know about this.

The most quoted expert on influence, Professor Robert Cialdini, has a new book out "Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways To Be Persuasive".

For some reason, this was published in the UK about 6 months ago so I've had a copy for quite some time.

Probably the most exciting thing about this book is that it explains the research behind the theories. In plain English.

And in a fun and entertaining style.

Cialdini and his co-authors broke down the content into 50 sections. Each section details bits of research that led to specific nuances of the science of persuasion. And each suggests practical applications for business situations and for your personal life. Very neat.

It's an easy read. But not one you'll do in one seating. Each "chapter" is only 3 or 4 pages long. So you can pick it up, read it for 5 minutes, and instantly have several ideas you'll want to test straight away.

If you head off to Amazon now, you'll also notice that our own Kevin Hogan gave this book 5 stars too...

Happy Reading!

Yann
Yann Vernier - Personal Coach